From the New Yorker: Joel Stein – I Will Be Your Server

If you are a subscriber to The New Yorker, a spoof on restaurant service by Joel Stein is pretty darn funny. It covers just about every hot button that seems to come up with diners.

“…I’ll guide you through the process. First of all, we ask a lot of questions designed to make you feel insecure. Is everyone at the table O.K. with feeling insecure?”…


“…That’s why we go out to eat!” “Great. We specialize in small plates. Have you heard of small plates?” “Are they like plates, but small?”…


“…When I go over the specials, I’m also going to be using a lot of made-up words. Have you read ‘Finnegans Wake’?” “I don’t know what that is.” “No problem. I have a PhD in comp list. The shankton of wildrange fizzle comes with a side of foraged burrbark….”


“…The chef would like it if you ate with your left hands, since he is left-handed and that is how he prepares the food….”

Even if you aren’t a subscriber, you can read a full abstract here.

 

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