Two quick notes. This story has nothing to do with food, but as always I memorialize the important things in my life on these pages. You will enjoy this story most if you have ever loved and lost an animal. Also, the story was originally titled “Russ’s Chair,” but the real name changed to protect my anonymity. That’s no longer needed.
When Mason was found in a forest in Utah, he had mange and was covered with ticks and fleas. At the age of nine, abandoned by hunters, his useful life as a bird dog finished. Weighing only 38 pounds, he had few teeth, which I am told is common for dogs who spend most of their lives chained. They have little to do other than try to chew through their restraints. Nursed back to health by a spaniel rescue organization, I found his sad story on their website. While I’ve always adopted rescue animals, I wasn’t looking for an older dog. But there was something about his photo that drew me to him. A few months later, after lots of paperwork and a home visit, they caravanned him to the bay area, and I headed south to pick
I was nervous; not sure what I was getting myself into, and when I bent down to say hello, he barked furiously and hid behind the couch. His eyes were a mask of pain and sadness and as I picked him up and put him in the back of my car, he kicked wildly, giving me doubts. I wondered if this was a huge mistake. He didn’t want to go with me, and I felt no connection between us. But there was something about those enormous brown eyes.
I knew life had told him a lie.
What would any dog lover do in such a situation? I pulled out of the driveway, directions to the nearest In-and-Out Burger on my phone. Twenty minutes later we sat under a tree, and I shared my burger and fries, the only time he ever got people food. Then, both of us nervous, we headed to Portland.
Nine hours later he took his first elevator ride, and we were both surprised to find that a neighbor had hung a stuffed squeaky squirrel from the doorknob as a welcome home present. Mason jumped and pulled it down, the squirrel furiously protesting as he went through the motions of breaking its neck. From that time on, he and that toy were inseparable. He kept it with him while he slept, and if we went out the door without it, he’d rush back, as a ride or walk without his friend was just not right; he’d never abandon it. At one point, that damn squirrel was in such bad shape I found him another and stealthily switched it out. That’s when I learned he could actually roll his eyes, and I was forced to dig the old one from the garbage. He spent a happy evening sitting in his chair, watching while I sewed the squirrel back together.
This chair was his sanctuary. If we were home, he’d be curled up in a ball, feet running in his sleep, waking every so often to prop his head on the arm and sniff the breeze coming through the window or to make sure I was still nearby. He was the total opposite of my previous dog, who had been overly independent. Sam was a wonderful dog, but my cuddle needs were unfulfilled. Mason, however, wouldn’t let me out of his sight. I grumbled to friends that I’d gone from one extreme to the other. I’d frequently open the bathroom door, to find him with his ear pressed up against it. A return from a trip to the garbage chute was an occasion of joy, of running in circles, rubbing up against me, and lavish kisses. As you may imagine, I didn’t try to go to many places without him.
At first, I was stupid enough to think that he would sleep in his bed, and I’d sprawl out in mine. This plan lasted less than a week, as I’d wake up to find he had crawled up next to me, and was spooning. Finally, I gave in and put a blanket down to define his own space. During the night, he would manage to move it around and would end up taking two-thirds of the bed. Playing the part of the fool, I’d desperately hang on to the edge, trying to figure out a way to turn over without waking him up.
It didn’t take me long to figure out what made Mason happy. His turn-ons were long walks on the beach, long walks in the woods, long walks along the river… Pair these activities with peanut-butter dog snacks, cuddling, and bully sticks, and he was happy. Turn-offs included chasing balls, ducks he couldn’t reach and wet feet, the last taken to silly levels, as he was prone to stand chest-deep in water, pulling each foot out in turn and licking it dry, before putting it back down and picking up another.
Mason was a remarkable fitness coach. When I first adopted him, I wasn’t in great physical shape. Years of MS had taken its toll, and there were days I had trouble getting around the block. The rescue organization had expressed reservations about my condition, but decided “putting him with you is better than putting him to sleep.” Not exactly a hearty endorsement. During our first month together in 2011, we averaged 2,100 steps a day, but with the help of new drug treatments and the determination of my fuzzy fitness coach, we totaled just over 3 million in 2015. Though my brain was still a mess, he had renewed my interest in living.
I didn’t need a fancy watch to prompt me to quit writing and take a walk. Every few hours he’d get out of his chair and nudge my arm until we headed out the door, squirrel and leash in mouth. He seemed able to tell when I was having writer’s block or was stuck on a coding problem, and though it was usually the last thing I wanted to do, he’d force me to take him out. “Just a short walk,” I would say. “Maybe around the block.” But once he got me out of the door, the block would turn into miles. That year I lost 11 pounds and kept it off all the time we were together. More often than not, as we walked my mind refocused and I would figure out the solution to whatever problem I had been working on.
One afternoon I decided to stop at Barista Coffee in the Pearl, so parked under a shady tree while I ran in and got coffee. I’d gotten less than 50 feet away when I recognized the sound of my car horn. I came back around the corner to see him sitting in the driver’s seat, pushing the steering wheel with his nose. He looked absolutely delighted with himself! After that, every time he thought I’d been gone long enough, he’d start honking the horn. Later I always had to fasten his leash to a hook in the back if I was going to be more than five minutes.
Mason had been used for hunting and absolutely refused to come when called, so I had to keep him on a leash. When he saw a duck he would go into a full point, stiff, paw outstretched, shaking with excitement. A squirrel was especially exciting, sending him into such fits of ecstasy that he’d actually shimmy three or four feet up the trunk of a large tree before sliding back down with a disappointed look. A walk around the lake at Laurelhurst Park left him exhausted for the rest of the day.
There is a group of older ladies in Mount Tabor that walk every morning, tossing nuts to squirrels as they go. They seemed to think they could recognize each one and came up with names for them. We were on friendly terms and ran into them regularly. I’d stop for a hello, Mason for a quick scratch behind the ears. There was one squirrel they were particularly fond of and they named it Ricky. Mason, however, wasn’t a fan. Whenever Ricky saw us, he’d rush out of the trees, chattering and running back and forth just out of reach. Of course, this sent Russ into fits of rage, and I’d have to brace myself to keep from being pulled off of my feet. Then came the fateful October morning when Ricky met an early demise. We were walking down the curved roadway. The ladies were moving in my direction, and we all waved. At that precise moment, I saw a blur of movement out of the corner of my eye; almost a flash. The squirrel, heading out for his morning harassment had gotten a bit too close. Mason grabbed him and broke his neck with a single quick shake of his head, dropping him at my feet. I’ve never seen a more satisfied dog; his tail moving so fast it was almost a blur. The ladies were a mere 50 feet away and closing fast. I was mortified. Ricky gave a final twitch and died. Worried about the impact it would have on their walk, I caught him with the tip of my shoe and flipped him into the bushes. Moments later we met the group, who remarked on how happy my dog looked. “Russ is practically glowing!” one of them said.
By all measures, Mason was a fantastic dog. I never heard him bark again after the first moments we met. He never peed in the house and got along with every person and dog we came across. Even better, I could absent-mindedly walk away from a plate of food on the coffee table, and he would resist the temptation. Most of all, he never gave up on me.
On a rainy afternoon in early 2016, I tossed his stuffed squirrel in the air, and he sat in his chair and watched it fall. At that instant, I knew my life had changed. The vet found nothing specific and thought he was just settling into old age, but I knew better. A month later he was deaf, and a few months later, during the space of a week, he went from catching treats in the air to being blind. You’d think these things would slow him down, but this was not the case. I became his seeing-eye dad, and he adapted quickly. A slight twist of the leash would change his direction, and a gentle tug would warn him of a curb or root. He’d stop and put out a paw, feeling around before we continued. Most people didn’t even realize he couldn’t see; sometimes I’d forget, and feel awful after he would walk into a wall or fall over a rock.
We still went out every day, though the walks gradually shortened. His biggest issue was colitis, which he was plagued with off and off for the entire time I had him. Now it really flared and he became very finicky about food, because many things set off, shall we say, intestinal discomfort. What does a food-focused person such as myself do in this sort of situation? I got really good at making rice, and we’d frequently share a bowl for dinner… err… not the same bowl. Rather than giving him boiled chicken, I started using sous vide cooking to make it, and when that started disagreeing with him, switched to turkey, offal, and then duck. Shortly thereafter an X-ray showed cancer, and since he was over 15 years old, I opted to keep him as pain-free as possible, rather than aggressively fighting the disease.
Early this week, I knew it was time. Mason was tired, and the spark was fading from his eyes. I was running out of things he would eat, and his weight was rapidly falling. Even so, no matter how he felt, a trip to the waterfront gave him a renewed lust for life. The next day I took him to Willamette Park and spent the afternoon stalking geese, swimming in the river, and watching the boats go by. Friday it was all about Cathedral Park – looking longingly at ducks, swimming and sitting on the boat ramps, feeling the sun on our backs, and even nibbling a bit of steak tartare. That evening he died peacefully as I held him in my arms.
Now I can’t look at his chair.
Beautiful and heartbreaking.
Thank you for sharing this story of your life with Russ.
This is a beautifully written piece. My condolences to you. As I lay here with tears in my eyes and my pup at my feet, I feel your pain.
PDX Food Dude says
Thank you Kendall
Such a beautiful memorial. Thank you for sharing.
Mt Hood here, I too have a rescue by the name of Russ, or Russell, or Rusty who loves long walks. I’m glad your Russ found you.
PDX Food Dude says
Thanks Marilyn. I’m glad you found a “Russ” too.
Marilyn Comber says
I found Russ after losing my dog Moses. I was devastated and was just googling dog stuff. I came across an article called”a dog’s last will and testament”. It really touched me and set me in line to foster for a rescue. Russ was my first foster, but I adopted him because he had cancer when I got him and severe food allergies. He wasn’t very”adoptable”. But he had surgery for the cancer and he completely healed my pain of losing Moses. Glad I found the dog’s last will and testament. I am praying now daily for you to find healing for your heart too. It is so hard to lose a best friend dog.
Jane / MulchMaid says
I’m so very sorry you lost Russ, and so very happy he could be such a big part of your life these past years. Thank you for telling his story – and for sharing your own..
PDX Food Dude says
Thank you! I’m glad he was too.
Tracy Thomas says
Thank you for making Russ come alive through your beautiful story. Losing a beloved family member pet is heart-wrenching, but we can always take comfort in memories that will last a lifetime. My condolences for your loss.
PDX Food Dude says
Thank you Tracy
Losing a beloved friend is so very painful. It warms my heart that you two found each other; you clearly brought a lot of happiness and joy to other over the years.
Shannon T says
Lost my Annie to canine ALS (Degenrative Myelopathy (DM)) 2 years ago yet I think about her still all the time. I feel your pain; it will diminish but perhaps, never go away completely. Russ will always be in your heart. This piece wonderfully shows how you brought out the best in each other. Thank you for sharing your great relationship.
So very sorry for your loss, what a great friend and companion Russ was for you. Our pets just don’t live long enough.