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Universal Fork and Knife Signaling System Arrives!

April 1, 2008 by PDX Food Dude 11 Comments

We had some in-depth conversation a few weeks ago about whether a waiter should remove an empty plate before all diners at the table have finished eating. Many of you thought that the crossed knife and fork was the best way to signal that you want your plate removed.

At Portland Food and Drink, we want to make the dining experience as easy for everyone as possible. Last night over a few drinks at Siam Society, we came up with the “Universal Fork and Knife Signaling System”. It’s a secret code that you can use any time to communicate your desires to your waiter.

We will be publishing a complete guide for diners in a handy pocket sized book, as well a set of laminated business card sized key cards for waiters. All will be available from our soon to come online store! So you know what to expect, here are a few samples:

Bet you wish you were me! (To rub your date into obnoxious servers face)
Bet you wish you were me! (To rub your date into obnoxious servers face)
Bring Next Course
Bring Next Course
Want to get together later? (Notice intertwined tines)
Want to get together later? (Notice intertwined tines)
Please tell me I have an urgent call
Please tell me I have an urgent call
The Indecisive: Do you think we are good for each other?
The Indecisive: Do you think we are good for each other?
Another cocktail - Quick! (When things aren't going well)
Another cocktail – Quick! (When things aren’t going well)
Is it 420? Many of you know what this means
Is it 420? Many of you know what this means
I'm Finished
I’m Finished
More Bread Please
More Bread Please

This should give you an idea of the system. There are 24 signals in total, to handle any possible situation. Look for your card set soon in our online store!

Related

Filed Under: April Fools Stories For Portland

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Foamer says

    April 1, 2008 at 11:19 am

    Um, April Fools! (I hope….)

    Reply
  2. nepdxer says

    April 1, 2008 at 11:49 am

    Love it!
    But where’s the one for “Take this friggin empty plate away! I need elbow room!” ?

    Reply
  3. Food Dude says

    April 1, 2008 at 12:02 pm

    nepdxer, sorry… that one is included in the full set of laminated cards.

    Reply
  4. AlanC says

    April 1, 2008 at 2:13 pm

    What is the proper signal to convey, “No — I don’t want to keep my fork. I want a clean one”?

    Reply
  5. Cuisine Bonne Femme says

    April 1, 2008 at 4:41 pm

    I know this might seem like a joke, but it is actually based on a very real set of codified Victorian communication codes right up there with the secret language of giving flowers and different meanings of painting cosmetic beauty marks on one’s face. Serious stuff back in the day.

    Reply
  6. hermes says

    April 1, 2008 at 5:05 pm

    Oh my god! That makes me want to go out to eat and communicate only by carefully placed cutlery. It is after 4:20 after all!

    Reply
  7. Food Dude says

    April 1, 2008 at 5:16 pm

    hermes, you might want to wait and order the book. Move a fork a little bit to the left, and the waiter may follow you to the restroom ;)

    Reply
  8. runi says

    April 1, 2008 at 7:03 pm

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/420_(cannabis_culture)
    hallelujah wikipedia.

    Reply
  9. eastsidegirl says

    April 1, 2008 at 8:26 pm

    ummmm – not entirely convinced that your link is the one you intended….. what exactly is it about the year 420 that you’d like us to understand??!!

    Reply
  10. runi says

    April 5, 2008 at 7:07 pm

    weirdness. it’s not often i make mistakes. i think i’ll blame it on wikipedia. delete the hallelujah.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/420_%28cannabis_culture%29
    if this doesn’t work it really is wikipedia’s problem.

    Reply
  11. shedoggy says

    April 12, 2008 at 2:16 pm

    Thanks, I got a great chuckle out of the pictures. FUN!

    Reply

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