Classic Chatter

This post contains some adult language so steer away if you are sensitive. You will probably get a laugh if you continue.

Someone once told me I would be a success, when people started saying things about me behind my back. Keeping that in mind, I always keep an eye on the various food server chat-groups around town. The gossip in general is so vicious and crude, it sounds more like it is coming from high-school kids, than adults. To wit:

Joe (aka Joe Dixon) – Posted: Jan 15, 2006 Will “foodies” in Portland ever get their shit together? That little hissy-fit on PortlandFood.org is embarassing.

fierydrunk (aka tha-krza) – Posted: Feb 3, 2006 “Dining in restaurants is elective, therefore, the chef doesn’t need to bend to a diner’s whim… THANK YOU. I am presently getting beaten up by the moderator of this goofball site. I knew I should have never gone back in there! He hate me. He is claiming that if a restaurant wants to “survive” it needs to cater to vegetarians, esp. in Portland….”

fierydrunk – Posted: Feb 3, 2006 “You could tell in this review that the guy went out to a meat place–just from a few things he said I am venturing that it is even a “Southern” focused menu. You can’t be serious that you would take a vegetarian friend to a place that touts itself as Southern and then complain all over the place about it only having one veggie themed entree.”

fierydrunk – Posted: Feb 3, 2006 – “No, you know what, basically I’m saying “FIERY WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ARGUING WITH THIS GUY??” Oh, cos he is a total asse and it is fun. Joe Dixon and I have been known to stir things up with the foodies over there… ”

Joe Posted: Feb 3, 2006 – I got yr back over there, fiery. That guy’s such an asshole. I think people in Portland, especially those that have lived in bigger cities, tend to give their palates too much credit. Everyone who knows ANYTHING about food in this town thinks that they’ve got a handle of the complexities of every single cuisine that exists. So f’ing obnoxious.

And, yeah, f your “diet restrictions”. I’m all for people eating how they want, but the expectation that they’ll be treated differently (extra-specially) for their self-imposed limitations is a ridiculous notion. Go to Veganopolis or the Paradox or the Farm or Vita or ANY OF THE OTHER TEN MILLION veggie-friendly places in this city!”

Fierydrunk – Posted: Feb 3, 2006 – “Alisa, the guy I am arguing with will argue with me over ANYTHING. They are like this gay foodie blog and as my girl Heidi Klum of Project Runway says, “Either you in o’ you out.” I’m out. Way out.” …Joe, your comment was priceless. I was going to go in there & comment again but I don’t wanna get us banned…yet.” “…He has so many protectors! When he first started the site, he could take a joke. I mean, he wasn’t funny, but he didn’t chafe at a contrary opinion. Now, if you don’t just totally blow smoke up his ass, you’re getting lambasted by him and his crew of self-important food critic cronies.”

Joe – Posted: Feb 3, 2006 – “Man, it’s been pretty quiet over there for awhile.
Maybe they all drank some of Food Dude’s Kool-Aid.”

fierydrunk -Posted: Feb 4, 2006 – I am officially about to burn the book of one of the bitches in the food blog who must have a crush on the moderator and continues to try to pick more fights with me (I guess fair is fair). Her name is Nancy Rommelman (sp?) and she moved her last year from LA to open yet another coffee roastery with her husband (yeah, we really need another of those). She quickly inserted herself as a Food Critic and I think got her ass fired from Willamette Week. She is a total blowhard who brags how she has been published in Gourmet, LA Weekly etc. Her book is some useless stocking stuffer called Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Food (but were afraid to ask). My dad got it for me. Meet some matches.”

Joe – Posted: Feb 4, 2006 – “Do it! Do it!”

fierydrunk – Posted: Feb 4, 2006 – “I should go do it in front of her husband’s roastery. But then she would likely get me arrested for some sort of hate crime. She defends that “Food Dude” (retch) with a pretty embarrassing passion. I should go get an americano at their place and pull out a stopwatch on the barista. Even if cup is perfect, I’ll send it back.” “…Ms. Nancy Rommelmann’s blog: http://nancyrommelmann.typepad.com/nancy_rommelmann/2005/09/why_portland_is.html. Ha! Totally. It should read: “Hi, I’m Nancy Rommelmann and I married the first and only guy who ever asked me. He hated LA and wanted to move to Portland so we could buy a house and he could start probably the most unneccessary business in Portland ever, a coffee roastery. I sort of fancy myself an LA version of ‘Carrie Bradshaw’, if you will, but am more than willing to put up with dirty hippie Portland because people are so kind here compared to LA. And because I’d have to get a divorce to leave.”

Joe Posted: Feb 4, 2006 – “I love self-important hacks who move here from L.A.” “So- I just posted a comment in you defense: “I think, tha-krza, that when you said,

“Nowhere, and I mean nowhere, in my posts did I say the waits and the terrible service were the restaurant’s perogative. That experience, AGAIN in case it has been overlooked, was really obvious bad bad bad service.”

you weren’t clear enough. I mean, I’ve had to quote you TWICE! Which means the above statement- posted originally by you, tha-krza- has now appeared THREE times within this thread. But it’s totally not clear what you mean.

Man, sometimes I feel like maybe these Big City Transplants have got some left-over smog trapped in their brains.”

And when I hit ‘submit’ I noticed that at the top of my comment it says “Your comment is awaiting moderation”! WTF?! It’s never done that before! He’s on to us!” < >

Joe Posted: Feb 4, 2006 – “What’s so strange is their sense of importance. Food Dude’s only been publishing for a year, little ol’ Nan JUST moved here to open a vanity business…

Yet they rep like they’ve been “on the scene” for decades. Now, I’m only 25, but I’ve been working in Portland restaurants since I was 17- that’s 8 years… not a lifetime, but I ain’t no rookie.

They refuse to acknowledge anyone but their stuffy, insular, catty group of what seem to be terribly-unhappy-with-their-station-in-life yuppies and silver-spoon-fed (pun NOT intended) wealthy, layabout know-it-alls.

Where does it say that because you’re from LA or SF or NY that you’ve automatically got a leg up on everyone else. So strange, that life-with-blinders-on must be. ”

fierydrunk -Posted: Feb 4, 2006 – “Oh and he did that to me once and I don’t think it was ever published. I read some of her comments on Portland and though I often mock this place, an LA-ite has nooooooooo right. She hasn’t even lived here a year. It is mostly people like her and her dillitante husband who have jacked the housing market up her so ridiculously high that we could never afford to buy a home, much less start a vanity coffee roastery. Remember Joe, these people hit you where it hurt on that thread–talkin’ about YOUR DAD! For shame.”

The last few paragraphs are priceless. I think they are successfully impugning Jim Dixon’s reputation all by themselves. ;) I thought you’d all enjoy these exchanges. Whether you agree or disagree, they are fun to read, and a good argument for staying in college and getting an education. Not all the conversations are this insipid; many of the posters are pretty darn intelligent.