I see my share of stupid articles, but sometimes one comes along that is so incredibly stupid, I have to write about it. Case in point, a recent report in The Wall Street Journal called Power Tables – 23Hoyt, Portland, Ore. It focuses on, I kid you not, which tables various ‘celebrities’ have dined at in the restaurant.
“… friend of Al Gore’s, dines at table 24 at least once a week”
“Jennifer Aniston, who is in town shooting a film, ate a Greek salad while dining with crew members at table 51. Dancer Mikhail Baryshnikov sat at the large family table when in town for an event at the Portland Institute for Contemporary Art. PICA curator Kristan Kennedy watched dinner mate Kenny Mellman, of the drag cabaret duo Kiki & Herb, perform on the piano after dinner at table 17.”
Most of the people named are hardly celebrities, and the whole article is somewhat embarrassing. It includes a floor plan with each table rated from “A List” to “A++ List” , so you’ll know just how you rate. Just think – you could sit where Peter Stott from Con-way sat just last week!!!!
Maybe I’m just jealous, because the last time I was at 23Hoyt I got stuck at table 30.
I smell the hand of a PR firm on this one.
Papaki says
You’re in good company, Dude: The one and only time we dined at 23Hoyt, they stuck us at table 30 too! Haven’t been back since because of it. (Well, that and the fact that both of our entrees were so over-salted that salt was pretty much the only thing we could taste.)
Food Dude says
I actually think the food at 23H has been pretty darn good. Order the right things and it is outstanding. I haven’t been in about 3 months though, so things may have changed.
Nikos says
Not table 30! They must have recognized you!
Nancy Rommelmann says
First, this isn’t really a story; it’s a blurb. Second, as we know, Portland is flavor-of-the-month, so, anything for pdx to appear in print, however wee and twee. Third, this to me smacks of receiving gobs of PR from 23 Hoyt (just as WSJ does from every other restaurant), and deciding to use the who-sits-where as the hook.
That said, and contrary to what the Dude and Papaki think, I don’t see this as a dumb idea but one that, in editorial parlance, is evergreen: people don’t seem tire of reading about celebs, where they go, what they eat, how they’re different from you and me, including getting preferential seating. It’s always been thus. Many restaurants get by on good food; others don’t mind coupling it with buzz, and Jennifer Aniston’s mug is probably going to generate more of that than Papaki’s.
Not that he isn’t blindingly handsome.
Food Dude says
Nancy, what you say is obvious, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t stupid.
Looking at my receipts, I’ve sat at table 30 three times. Humph.
I think Nancy is defending them because she is one of the ‘in, glitterati’ crowd that gets table 52! She sits there preening in her ermine and pearls, batting those smoking hot eyelashes, saying seductively over her gimlet, “I’ll have the chitarra”. Wink.
I know, because I’ve seen it all from table 30 (if I use my binoculars)
Nikos says
Portland needs all the publicity it can get. I am tired of telling people I moved to Portland and sometime later they ask me: How’s Seattle ? (Seattle IS the pacific Northwest in most peoples mind, sad but true)
So, bring on the wee and twee, doesn’t matter. Better name and geographic recognition please!(what can I say, all us newcomers are shallow people!)
Papaki says
Nancy, for the record, I never meant to imply that I thought there was anything “dumb” about this idea. Heck, even I’m more interested in Jennifer Aniston than Papaki — and I’m Papaki.
I only wanted to grouse about the fact that 23Hoyt seems to enjoy sticking nobodies like me — and Food Dude — at table 30. (Sorry, Dude.)
Maybe we need to start creating our own buzz about how table 30 is THE hot place to sit.
Nikos says
Fake fur is all the rage now and real pearls ought to stay in the drawer for security reasons! I miss the days when Maria Callas or Jackie O would create a stir about the restaurant they would be spotted going to, now it’s Jennifer Anniston from Friends (!). Marilyn must be spinning in her grave.
Dave J. says
I’m down with the idea of creating fake buzz for the “non-cool” tables.
“Table 30 is so hot right now!”
Food Dude says
I’ve heard, Food Dude sits at table 30!
Papki, if we do that, then they’ll start putting me in the basement.
Hunter says
I’ve always been seated at tables 20-25, always. Damn, I rock.
Papaki says
OK, everybody, here’s the plan: Next time you call 23Hoyt for a reservation, ASK specifically to be seated at Table 30. Refuse to settle for anything less!
Nancy Rommelmann says
I love you guys. But, as the Dude well knows: I only dine at 23 Hoyt in my sienna wig and dark sunglasses.
Nikos says
Wig and dark glasses, that was my idea!
FrannyGlass says
I’d be happy if someone just invited me to have a drink with them at the bar! Papaki? Food Dude? Nancy, I have some nice wigs you could borrow…
reflexblue says
Wow, that’s just completely sad. I left the land of starfuckers behind, and I intend to keep it that way.
Do we really want these people expanding their leaching ground? When Aniston gets her meal comped does the management makes sure the servers etc… get their due? Hasn’t been my experience, or the experience of anyone else I know.
megan says
How do you know what table you are at? I would feel silly asking!!!
FrannyGlass says
The table number is usually written or printed on the check somewhere.
Food Dude says
well, if you have to ask, you just aren’t cool ;)
All the hip people know where table 30 is
eastsidegirl says
So, am I missing something, but when looking at the table numbering there are quite a few gaps: 9, 18, 19, and 26–>29 – what’s that all about?
Marshall Manning says
Those are the secret tables for the real hipsters!