The New Version of Gotham Tavern is Open
The day after I got back from Europe, I threw myself across the grenade of bad food, by going to the reopened Gotham Tavern, not to be confused with Gotham Building Tavern, though it is the same name in the same building and looks exactly the same inside… except…
Remember those folding chairs your parents kept in the closet for special occasions like Thanksgiving? The ones that were only used at the ‘kids table’. Sigh. That’s the seating at Gotham. They look and feel like they got them for $5.00 each at Costco. Even worse… the chairs match the food. It tastes like it came from Costco in shrink-wrapped containers. Actually, I’m probably being mean here… to Costco. Let’s hope the old chairs went to ClarkLewis. {Sidenote: Just to show how shallow I am – I used to deliberately spell clarklewis ClarkLewis, or Clark Lewis, just because I knew I drove Michael crazy. With him gone, it’s just not as fun anymore}
Back to the food. The salads were sad little things with a preprocessed (machine shredded!) vibe. The soup tasted just like my grandmother used to make, but then she usually opened a can of Campbell’s. The ubiquitous burger was nothing special. Most of the food seemed poorly conceived, with flavors that fought each other every step of the way. I realize they have only been open a few weeks, but I’ll go out on a limb and predict an early demise. The location is not great – out of the way, iffy parking. Watch out for the poison oak when you walk down the sidewalk in back from where ever you were able to park. The only way a restaurant is really going to succeed here is to have food that will draw people from a distance. This wouldn’t draw me two blocks. Enough said.
———————————————
Under the heading of Great Server Without a Clue: While dining at a local restaurant, I asked my server about a particular bottle of wine. She looked at me quite earnestly and said, “I don’t know, but I’ll be happy to go get a bottle and read you what it says on the back”.
Sigh. This was not a low-end restaurant. On the bright side, the rest of the service was just great. Nope, not gonna say where this was. Unless it happens again. Yup, I’m gonna ask again some time.
A year ago, I was on a cruise through the Florida Keys, down to Cozumel. I’m not really the ‘cruise type’ as the road less traveled tends to call to me, but it was free, so I figured what the heck, and enjoyed it more than I expected. There is something to be said about spending the day in a deck chair with people bringing you little drinks with umbrellas (they really aren’t bad after you’ve had 2-3). Even more surprising, the food was better than I expected. Today I was going through my yearly “shredding of old documents” and happened across the menu I’d stolen from the dining room. I thought I’d share it here:
1. Lobster Veloute or Bortsch – Rothschild-style
2. Escalope of Foie Gras with Sauce Citrus or Goat Cheese Souffle with Tomato Coulis
3. Granite of Passion Fruit and White Rum
4. Salmon and Crab Gratin or Rack of Lamb en Croute
5. A Selection of Three Cheeses served with Apples, Grapes and Walnut Bread
6. Chocolate Souffle or A selection of Four Small Desserts
Keep in mind that each one of these choices were matched with a different wine. The service was entirely silly; sommelier with the clanking chains and silver tasting cup (which he used!), servers surrounding the table, and with great flourish, presenting each dish at the same time from under a silver dome. Still, it was a lot of fun, and the mostly older clientele loved it. I was in bed at 9:30. Hmm… Maybe I’m just getting old.
———————————————
Albina Press Has a Ducky Client
So I’ve been making an effort to break out of my normal coffee rut and get around to some other places, but a few keep calling me back. One of the first things I did when I returned from Europe (why yes, I did have a nice time, thanks), was head out for a really good cup.
There I was, having a quiet brew, reflecting on ways to end world hunger, and wondering why a wooden hunting decoy was sitting in the middle of the coffee house. You know the kind I’m talking about… looks like a duck…? Then it opened an eye, shook it’s feathers, and let out a loud “Quack” before going back to sleep.
I’m told it showed up at the front door early that morning, quacking and demanding to come in, so they opened the door – wouldn’t you? It seemed very content, so we just sat and pondered each other until I finished my coffee. My mind even raced through cookbooks, wondering what sauce would go best with its ample breasts. I suppose I had better not name the specific establishment – duck hunters are everywhere. Ok, it’s Albina Press on N Albina
It reminded me of a time in my life when I was living with an animal lover. I’ve written about her before on my other site – her guinea pig chewed a hole in the sheet-rock and took up residence inside the walls of our house just as we were moving out. I had to pay rent for the extra week it took me to find it, and for all the holes I put in the walls trying to get it out. Ah what we do for love. Anyway, I digress. In addition to the guinea pig, we had a Husky, a Great White Spitz, six kittens that thought the husky was their mom (but then, so did he), a parrot, and two housebroken ducks. Yes, ducks. Somewhere I have a picture of the husky on the sofa, parrot sitting on his head, the kittens curled up to his side, and the two ducks sitting on the arms.
No, I’m not still using that sofa.
-s says
I’m looking forward to the changes! The member reviews should be interesting to say the least.
Are you using K2?
I will again pimp Dreamhost for two reasons — we’ve got three domains hosted through them and they’ve been great (and they add 0.2GB storage and 8GB transfer every week, so for $10/month I’m getting 27GB of storage and 1358GB/month of transfer.) If you want more info email me.
Food Dude says
-s: Not planning on using K2… alll those features require overhead and I want it very light for dialup users. The default theme won’t really change except for the new buttons.
Thanks for the reminder on dreamhost. I was wondering who had told me about them. I might drop you a note with a question.
Dave J. says
I am delightfully horrified at the bad reviews I’ve been seeing for the GBT. Holy cow! I have this feeling that every once in a while the food community at large is done a favor by some restaurant that comes along and is so unquestionably awful that every reviewer in town gets to blow off months of steam by just letting them have it. With this, though…plastic folding chairs? Campbell’s-esque soup? Why do I get the sense that this is some half-brilliant performance art piece cooked up by M. Hebberoy? It would, after all, be the logical next step in his “kill the restaurant” exercise–close down a good place, re-open a horrendous replacement, and delight as people work themselves into a lather over its awfulness.
Sir Loins says
I’m not much of a coffeehouse kind of guy, nor am I a hunter, but I do love critters and I’d go out of my way to patronize any place that opened the door for a duck. That’s beautiful.
Apollo says
What cruise line was that on? That sounds mighty tasty.
BTW, the word on here is Fenouil. Are you plugging restaurants now? As far as I know the stuff is called Fennel here in the states… ;)
Food Dude says
Sir Loins, they have a cat too! Both seem to get along.
Apollo: I think it was Celebrity, can’t remember the name of the ship. Of course anything can be made to sound good (though it is remarkable how many restaurant menus fail to do it), but in the case the food actually was pretty good. I’ve heard they have gone downhill since they were purchased by Royal Carribean.
Classic Girl says
I look forward to the review on Equinox. I live very close and actually really enjoy their ambiance, food, staff, etc. I always take visitors because (1) the patio is really unbeatable, (2) I love that everything is like nothing you have ever eaten before, and (3) it is not very expensive. But, the other night, I had downright bizarre service from a server that seemed to be overacting and overreacting the entire time. I mean, we spent half the meal scrutinizing her behavior — was it a drug problem? was it acceptable? did she purposely overcharge us? Kind of disappointing, when usually the service there is great – casual, friendly, professional. Also have heard rumors of kitchen staff turnover… and the loss of the stuffed pork chop is really a bummer.
lexuh says
Also looking forward to an Equinox review. The food is always great, but I find the service to be oddly inconsistent — the same server who hustles my friend and I off the four-top to a cramped deuce later becomes incredibly chatty over a particular dish and how he could live on it. I hope whatever changes they make, they keep that delightful calamari!
As far as an additional review goes, I’d be interested in your thoughts on Callaloo and Shula’s. The first because I keep meaning to try their happy hour, and the latter because my neighbor started working there before they opened and while I’m interested in the execution, it’s a concept that doesn’t appeal to me much.
Jeff says
Re Callaloo: it hasn’t gotten much discussion on the various Portland food sites, but I really enjoyed it on our one visit, and reminds me that I should get back there while it’s still summer. Drinks were great, and the two food items we had that stand out in my memory are the Curried Goat Roti appetizer and Jerk Pork Rillettes.
lexuh says
Thanks for the recommendation, Jeff. Did you hit it during happy hour? I like trying out new places that way.
Daniela says
hi, I’m writing from Italy, does it make any difference? And I was in Portland in August…. and I’m a cook… and I’m thinking to move to Portland to promonte good and healthy food. Question: if you could choose, what kind of place you wuould like to have in Portland? What kind of quality you food freeks would like to find ? It’s the people expressing desires, the table is upsidedown now, free your imagination…
daniela
grapedog says
Welcome back, Food Dude!
Regarding Callaloo, my wife and I have visited this restaurant a number of times, some times just to drink Carribbean-inspired drinks and other times to have dinner *plus* drinks. Haven’t been unhappy once. Flavors are new and refreshing, dishes are cooked with intelligence and presentations are great. Go and have a red stripe beer in the bar just to introduce yourself to the ambience.
Just got back from a 2 week road trip from Portland down to San Diego and back again via the Russian River Valley’s many wineries. We had dinner at quite a few zagat-featured restaurants and some that were lesser known, neighborhood places. In some, I got a chance to meet and talk to the chef/owner of the place. One thing that surprised me the most was the server’s lack of information regarding the source of the evening’s beef or foie used in dishes. Some responses were “I don’t know, but it’s REALLY GOOD” and others were “It’s Angus”. One guy said “It doesn’t matter. In fact, I bet you can cut your tenderloin with a spoon!” Nowadays, I won’t eat beef in a restaurant until someone can tell me what farm it came from. Niman ranch, Misty Isle, Painted Hills, etc. I guess I was spoiled by Portland restaurants whose servers have always been able to tell me.
Food Dude says
A reminder to a few people who have had their comments deleted today. Personal attacks are not acceptable. Cross the line, and your comments will not post.
FD
-s says
I wish someone would move to Portland and promote insanely hi-fat, calorie-rich, and decadent over-the-top food. Unemployed chefs from New Orleans area welcome.
FD: You can leave up any personal attacks made towards me. I’m sure it’s nothing the voices in my head haven’t told me before.
daniela says
Can I attack personally the site or whatever ate my previous message? I had Fusilli and now BEERS… in any case I just wanted to say I love fattish food, the hell with health, let’s just have an evening with the most decadent dinner ….. Colonnata lard on grilled polenta followed by Carnival lasagne from Naples (pasta, hard boiled eggs, fried meat balls, meat ragu made with beef and pork and a lot of onion, pecorino and ricotta and more fat to dress this unique dish….. to end with a Pastiera Napoletana and die happily dreaming of food heavens far from macrobiotic diets…. all accompanied by some honest wine…..
that’s Italy….. make food, not war
daniela
-s says
Daniela — that works for me :)
Auntie M replies, says
Oh, my…Food Dude must try melatonin next trip to Europe. This will help to alleviate the crippling jet-lag suffered upon the return flight to Portland.
True, the Gotham Tavern appears similar to an earlier venture in the same location…if one ignores the current uniformly generous, helpful staff, excellent food, reasonable pricing and remarkable absence of hubris!