Dear Willamette Week,
I have friends, who, while I’m off making them cocktails, sneak into my office and reduce the font size on my computer. I know this because every month it gets a bit more difficult to read, and they always look at me like I’m an inside joke.
The 2011 edition of your restaurant guide, is obviously targeted at continuing this visual harassment. I am sure that servers all over Portland will testify that I rarely bring reading glasses to their restaurants, and order willy-nilly, pointing at random things because the menu type is too damn small to decipher in the sophisticated lighting of these, so-swank, if-you-can’t-read-this-menu-you-are-too-old-to-eat-here, culture lounges. Truth be known, that is how I first tried frog legs.
Today, however, as I headed out the door to Coffeehouse Northwest, I thought ahead and brought my reading glasses. There were plenty of Willamette Week’s on the rack. I was happy. A perfect cappuccino warmed my hand, and while I waited for an empty table, I casually opened your restaurant guide and paused. I cleaned my spectacles to no avail, and clumsily titubated towards the bright light streaming through the windows. At first, it seemed I’d brought the wrong glasses, but no, it was just that the type size you had picked for your epicurean roundup was somewhere around four pixels in height. I’ve seen warnings on prescription advertisements printed smaller.
Oh, Willamette Week. I know I’m not one of the hip young members of your targeted demographic (do you kids even say “hip” anymore?). But is it really fair that I have to bring not only my reading glasses but a magnifying lens to read your 2011 restaurant guide? I applaud your efforts to limit the clear-cutting of our forests and to shrink this tome to something approaching glove-compartment size, but still, your efforts are continuing the feeling of weltschmerz, that, in my declining years, has taken over my life.
Notwithstanding, I think your choice of Podnah’s Pit is a fine pick for your Restaurant of the Year. I’ve enjoyed my visits to Rodney’s new place, and as I’ve said in my review, his food reminds me of Maypearl Texas where we both grew up (he just said Waxahachie because everyone knows where that is). Little known fact – our ranches were so close, I accidentally shot one of his dad’s cows while the Bonnie and Clyde biopic was filming from the front porch of one of our cabins. That incident was the real start of their family barbecue, not to mention the Dude/Murhead feud that rages to this day.
I know good Texas BBQ when I taste it.
Respectfully,
Food Dude
MIkey says
It seems like every other morning I can open my website and see that you have a new blog post and a little smile pops on my face. I don’t consider myself a “foodie” but I am a Portlander, and your posts have many times help me pick a place when I want to spoil myself. The post above hits me differently. It was last week when I picked up the WW and I to could not figure out why everything had to be so damn small!!! You did it again, **smiling**. Thank you for all that you do!!
Mikey
Food Dude says
Thank you Mikey. You have the dubious honor of leaving my favorite comment of the month.
Mary Sue says
I am very glad they chose Podnah’s as their Restaurant of the Year, so that maybe the crowd will thin out slightly of pretentious yobs at the truly best BBQ restaurant in Portland, Russell St. Barbecue.
Food Dude says
The nice thing about Russell, is they don’t use those darn smokey grills!
Cough.
PDX2CDG says
Laughing……still laughing…..oh and stilll laughing!
Sean says
– Insert second snarky, and well earned, comment here –
Sean says
Oh, and congrats to Podnah’s! Kind of a quirky pick given some of the other great options, but it’s nice to see a resto that may be low key, but serious about what it does, get a big plug. Go Rodney!
hsawtelle says
So you’re Louis CK’s mom?
Sid says
Love the post. I honestly wish the font were bigger in your daily emails! I have to increase font size when I forward your emails to my 65 year old mother.
Food Dude says
I’ll look and see if Google will let me up the size a bit.
Ben Waterhouse says
I don’t want to further contribute to your suffering, Dude, but I believe the type size in the guide is the same as it was in 2010, and larger than in 2009. You’re not alone, though. Our editor has made the same observation.
We have a zoomable digital facsimile of the guide online, which may help. I believe it’s iPad compatible as well.
Food Dude says
Oh Ben. So easy for you to say, but try as I might, I can’t fit my iPad in the glovebox on my MG
elwood says
Oh, I see. A small car is fine, but a small font isn’t. Right…
PDX2CDG says
I’m part of the ‘hip’ generation (I guess?) and I am having a hard time reading the ‘fine’ print. Egaads……..30’s and needing readers? Say it ain’t so!
Podahs is an interesting pick, then again everyone gets a turn that turns out an excellent BBQ.
PDX2CDG says
Oh by the way, I can’t find the word titubated anywhere……I can only imagine you were having a hard day. Nice shout out for NW coffee, who also happen to have a great hot chocolate.
Food Dude says
Titubate
Tit”u*bate, v. i. [L. titubatus, p. p. of titubare to stagger, totter.]1. To stumble. [Obs.] 2. To rock or roll, as a curved body on a plane.
Webster’s Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc.